*Hi guys! First of all, I want to thank you all for reading! I never expected so many people to be interested in my life.. it's kind of weird putting yourself out there. Also, thank you to everyone leaving comments. For some reason it won't let me respond to your comments, but I do see them! I'm also trying not to be too repetitive of what Tori posted, so let me know if I start to sound too much like her!!  This is THE post.. it took a lot out of me though.. so please be kind..*

Here's the thing. Me and Danny never fought. Ever. When Matt and Tori broke up, it made our relationship stronger. We both knew that they were meant for each other, and helping them figure it out brought me and Danny closer together. Seeing how broken they both were, made us work towards never allowing each other to ever experience that.

Our relationship was pretty chill too. We did almost everything together, which wasn't any different than before. Only now we didn't have to hide. Our chemistry was insane. He got all of my jokes, I got all of his. He knew my sarcasm, I knew his quirks. He knew my body better than I did, and I knew every little way to set him over the edge. We were one person, in two bodies.

Danny and Matt went on a family trip to Greece in April. They had some family things going on, and were going to be gone for a whole month. The night before they left, I told Danny that I loved him. I knew he wasn't ready for that but I knew what I felt, and I had to tell him. He was stunned, but didn't make a big deal of it. I could see it though.

The month went by painfully slow. Danny didn't call or text. And when Tori got that FaceTime call, I was both jealous and hurt. I know I probably freaked him out, but he didn't have to ice me out like that. Tori asked me to go with her to pick them up from the airport, and I almost said no. In the month we were apart, I started to think of my life without Danny.

When the boys came out of their exit in the airport, Matt ran and jumped on Tori, making her fall backwards. Danny was walking behind him. He smiled his killer smile when he saw me, and everything came rushing back. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me with intensity. I couldn't believe I considered not having him in my life.

The next few days were kind of blurry. We were so busy with our own lives, that we didn't actually spend any time alone until the next Tuesday. Danny came over and we ordered Chinese. We watched a movie, and then another one. But we still hadn't really "talked". I was starting to get agitated and he could tell..my leg starts to shake. He asked me what was wrong and I told him everything that was on my mind.

Danny sat still and quiet the entire time I spoke.I told him again that I loved him, and it was okay that he didn't feel the same way. I told him that him ignoring me for the entire time he was out of the country really hurt me. I told him that I needed to know he was going to be there for me. That's when he snapped.

I had never seen Danny get angry at anyone but Matt. Him yelling at me, scared me a little. He said that I tricked him into being in a relationship with me. That was what hurt me the most. He was the one that wanted to be in a relationship with me. I was just fine being friends. He's the one that pressured me.

I tried to make him see things from my perspective, but he completely shut me out, so I suggested that we take some time apart.

"Maybe we need some time apart to think about things."

"Ya. I agree." His voice was cold, bitter almost.

I wanted to cry. But I knew I couldn't cry in front of him. I wanted to yell back but I didn't. I got up, walked to my door and told him to leave. He seemed shocked. Did he seriously think I was going to allow him to sit there and yell at me?! He walked through the door with his head down and turned to say something but I slammed the door in his face.

I couldn't hold the tears anymore. They came pouring out of me and I fell to the floor. I NEVER cry. EVER. But this, this was different. I felt like a part of me had been ripped out. I found my phone through my blurry eyes, and called Tori. I didn't want to be alone tonight, and she was the only one that would understand what I was going through.

She rushed over right away, and I poured myself out to her. I told her what had happened.. well tried to anyways.. I was crying harder, angry at myself for crying at all. She spooned me, and I fell asleep in her arms.

When I woke up the next day, Tor wasn't in my bed and I thought I had dreamed it all. One look in the mirror though, I knew I didn't. I had sixteen missed calls from Danny, eight calls from Matt and I don't even remember how many texts. I didn't want to see or hear anything, so I deleted them all. Nothing Danny had to say was going to make this better.



  1. Awwww. I'm sorry :( Keep writing!! I'm loving hearing your perspective on things!

    1. Thank you! I will try and update as much as possible.

  2. I hope, more than anything, that this journal leads you and Danny back together. I really think it will happen. You two seem perfect together.

    1. So far it's been helping me cope. I'm not too sure if I'd let him back into my life again though.. :(